We Love Our Pets and Grieve When They Die

California Veterinary Medical Association Offers Grief Guidance to Help
Owners Cope


SACRAMENTO, Calif., Oct. 9 (medianowonline)- When Alex, an African Grey
Parrot famous for his advanced recognition and language skills died last
month, his owner, scientist Irene Pepperberg, needed time to grieve over
the loss of her pal before she could talk about it. Newspapers and web
sites printed his obituary and many people sent condolences. What
Pepperberg experienced is a common response to a pet's death. The
California Veterinary Medical Association (CVMA) advises that the grief
process is a continuum, with each owner and family member handling pet loss
in his or her own way.

"We love our pets and feel grief when they die. People need to be given
the space and freedom to grieve for their pets," said Dr. Jeff Smith,
president of the CVMA. "A person can be traumatized over the loss of an
animal."
Veterinarians are available to counsel bereaved pet owners through
their loss, particularly, when a family must make a decision to euthanize
an older, ill or severely injured animal. Through that experience, many
individuals are overcome with emotion and cast blame on themselves for
cutting a pet's life short. They may go through many stages of grief that
could include shock, denial, anger, depression and, finally, acceptance and
resolution. But the process is never easy, and it's important people know
they can seek comfort in many places. The CVMA offers a web site, "It's
About Pets," with information on pet loss and the human-animal bond.

"Veterinarians understand better than many what pet owners are going
through because often they have seen that pet through a lifetime of care,"
Dr. Smith. "Many times the pet owner and doctor develop a bond of trust and
friendship so a veterinarian can offer support or refer clients to local
pet bereavement counselors for additional guidance."
According to the CVMA, children may need extra care after the death of
a pet as they make their way through the grieving process. Families also
should pay attention to reactions of other animals in the household. Pets
form very close attachments with each other and will grieve by showing
signs of restlessness, anxiety and depression.
Veterinarians offer these tips on how to help children, surviving
animals and pet owners work through their loss:
Children
-- Give the child permission to go through the stages of grief
-- Tell their teacher about the pet's death
-- Encourage the child to talk freely about the pet
-- Give the child hugs and reassurance
-- Discuss death, dying and grief honestly
-- Include the child in everything going on
-- Explain the permanency of death

Other Pets
-- Keep surviving pets' routines as normal as possible
-- Try not to unintentionally reinforce behavioral changes
-- If the pet's appetite is picky, don't keep changing its food, which
will make it more finicky
-- Don't overcompensate for the loss with extra attention to the surviving
pet, which could lead to separation anxiety
-- Don't rush out and get a new pet to help with the grieving process --
wait until the pet and the family is ready


Healing
-- Give yourself permission to grieve
-- Memorialize your pet
-- Surround yourself with people who understand your loss
-- Accept feelings that come with grief
-- Indulge yourself in small pleasures.
-- Don't be afraid to get help
-- Call your veterinarian for advice

Despite the universality of death, there is no right or wrong way to
recover from a pet dying. By relying on family, friends and your
veterinarian, the grieving process can unfold in a manner that works best
for you.

The California Veterinary Medical Association is the largest state
veterinary medical association in the United States, with more than 5,600
members. Founded in 1888, its mission is to serve its membership and
community through innovative leadership and to improve animal and human
health in an ethically and socially responsible manner.



SOURCE California Veterinary Medical Association